An Unlikely View of Transparency...

Transparency in health care is a favorite topic here at IB. Recently, I came across this (perhaps over the top) example on the web:

What Doctor's Say And What They Are Thinking

■ "Welllllll, what have we here...?" (He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue.)

■ "Let me check your medical history." (I want to see if you’ve paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.)

■ "Why don’t we make another appointment later in the week." (I’m playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time or I need the bucks, so I’m charging you for another office visit.)

■ "We have some good news and some bad news." (The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.)

■ "Let’s see how it develops." (Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.)

■ "Let me schedule you for some tests." (I have a forty-percent interest in the lab.)

■ "I’d like to have my associate look at you." (He’s going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.)

■ "I’d like to prescribe a new drug." (I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.)

■ "If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call." (I don’t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.)

■ "That’s quite a nasty looking wound." (I think I’m going to throw up.)

■ "This may smart a little." (Last week two patients bit off their tongues.)

■ "Well, we’re not feeling so well today, are we?" (I’m stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?)

■ "This should fix you up." (The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.)

■ "Everything seems to be normal." (Rats! I guess I can’t buy that new beach condo after all.)

■ "I’d like to run some more tests." (I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.)

■ "Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?" (You’re crazier’n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who’ll split fees with me.)

■ "There is a lot of that going around." (My God, that’s the third one this week. I’d better learn something about this.)

■ "If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment." (I’ve never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I’m off next week.)